Why it’s so hard for me to ask for help? I’ve struggled my whole life without  asking for anything. If I did ask, trust me I was in dire need. I felt like if I was to ask, I want to return it in a timely fashion. It was so bad that I’d actually waited until it was offered to me. Me and whom ever would strike up a conversation about life, and what is needed, then bingo, a offer would be placed. And, I’d still be stubborn about taken it.  How ugly is that. I feel we all need, and I didn’t want to take anything someone else needed. My Pride killed a lot of my dreams. Not that it gotten any better, I ask , but it’s rarely ever for me. I was told by a family member about two years ago, the reason I don’t have what I want is that I never ask for help. At that moment I didn’t respond, I just let it resonate. A couple of days later, I thought about what was said to me and couldn’t believe how true it was. It’s so crazy how I watched and listened to  family and friends ask for what they wanted and needed. I never did, I couldn’t, my pride wouldn’t let me, it just shut me down, like a hand was over my mouth. I happened to be watching Super Soul Sunday with Oprah Winfrey, and the question presented itself. Why it’s so hard to ask for help. My eyes watered, and I said to myself, that’s my biggest block. When I do ask, it’s not even for me. When I need something for me, before I even ask I’m too busy trying to figure out how to repay it, and feeling bad for asking. I’m still trying to figure it out. What I do know is; it have a lot to do with me as a person. I learned that you get what you give. So in saying in that, I have to accept and appreciate the beauty of people. I consider myself a giver of life, through words, action, and just given of myself. I love that about me, it feels really good. I just have to open up a bit to the possibility of asking and receiving, and how it can benefit me and others. I’m still a work in progress.


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